Our April 1st Tips on How to Write Good

By Emily Prince and Sarah Sansolo

• Don’t worry about your thesis. Make it vague and rambling, nobody reads it anyway.
• Start writing your paper an hour before class – it will still be fresh in your mind that way!
• Bring it in to us for some line-editing. We love papers that are due in less time than it takes to complete a session.
• If a sentence seems boring, use the “synonyms” function in Word. Pick the word with the most letters so your professor thinks you’re smart.

“If a condemnation appears mind-numbing, practice the ‘replacements’ occupation in Announcement. Preference the expression with the furthermost eruditions so your don ruminates you’re nifty.”

See! Totally academic!

• Don’t bother to read the prompt. Professors get tired of seeing the same answers over and over again. Improvise! Maybe include some pop culture, like that episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo!” that you watched while procrastinating (see point 2).
• People can be intimidated by commas, but they are actually super easy to use! The, trick is to always put a comma after the, word “the.” See?
• Never use quotation marks when citing – they clutter up the paper. If you quote from Wikipedia, The Onion, or another scholarly website, remember to copy/paste and leave the quote in the original font. That should be enough for your professor to know you’re not plagiarizing.
• Better yet, don’t do any research at all! That way you are sure to avoid plagiarizing. This works best if you are writing on a topic you know nothing about, so that you can avoid using the word “I.”
• Maybe you aren’t as worried about the technicalities of writing because you don’t even have any idea of what to write at all. Don’t worry, it’s easy to meet a page requirement without saying much of anything. Some sure-fire tricks include using 16 pt font, widening the margins (only one or two words should fit on each line) and inserting lots of clip art.
• Use comic sans. Professors love comic sans.
• It’s totally ok to lie. For example, all of the above points are lies. Do exactly the opposite. Happy April Fools Day!

The Pitfalls of Poor Introductions

By Will Byrne

Since the beginning of time, students have been writing terrible introductions to their papers.  Or maybe: introductions to papers are an essential part of human life.  Or: the first time I wrote an introduction was in Mrs. Blerg’s class, back before the beginning of time.  Or, as JFK once said: “Ask not what your introduction can do for you, but what you can do for your introduction.”  Or, to put it statistically: 95% percent of all introductions are clichéd tripe.

Although there are many obnoxious, useless and clichéd paper introductions, there is an equally mind-blowing number of cliché teaching strategies explaining how to write an introduction: “Hook a reader!” “Use a quote!” “Use a surprising fact!” “Tell a story from your life!” “Make it funny!” “Make sure it’s interesting!”

The idea that every paper needs a hook contradicts that the paper is interesting in the first place. Indeed, all of this advice on introductions seems to fortify what the student-writer already thinks: this paper is boring.

If the paper’s argument is interesting, shouldn’t that be the hook? Throw out “since the beginning of time” or “90%” --what if we were to start with the thesis?  If it’s a good thesis, then the audience (especially if the audience is the grading professor) will be immediately interested, correct?  It’s worth a try.  I googled “good thesis statements” and this is one that popped up:

“Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.”

What are the possible downsides of this thesis also being the first sentence of a paper?  Well, for one, I am instantly confused.  I know we’re talking about Huck Finn, but I’m not sure what the author means by “river and shore scenes,” “true expression of American democratic ideals,” or even “civilized society/nature.”  These three major ideas demand immediate explanation and without it, the reader can’t fully understand the thesis. Confusion is never a good way to start an essay so what should an introduction do?

An introduction not a hook, it’s the space where the most important and contentious vocabulary of the essay needs to be established.  Once that information is established, the interest of the piece is apparent and the writer merely needs to state their argument.  If the argument is compelling, the reader will be hooked.

Application and Scholarship Essay 101

By Priyanka Joseph

It's college application season again and whether you're transferring or seeking a secondary degree, it's always important to make a solid first impression. Application essays convey your goals, personality and work ethic on a page, so it's important to make that word count, count!

Take-away #1: Don't wait for the last minute!
Application Essays and Personal Statements are devious creatures by nature: one wrong word can change the admission committee's opinion of you. When they're getting through a slush pile of applicants, your careful use of language is what can win them over right away. You get two 45 minute appointments every week at the Writing Center, so make an appointment and give yourself at least two weeks before the deadline!

Take-away #2: Tell them the truth!
Everyone wants to be perceived as organized, driven, goal-oriented, and original. What makes a great essay is when you are able to recount real lessons learned from mistakes made-- don't use anecdotes for the sake of sensationalism, but capture a real learning moment that put you directly or indirectly on your current path. Maybe a mistake you made on your last internship, or the time you got lost hiking, or taking more than a few years on the wrong major.

Take-away #3: When in doubt, go... home.
Always aim for an authentic tone in an application essay or personal statement. Turn to your family and/or childhood for what inspired you to follow your dream and apply to this college or scholarship program. Nothing gratuitous, please! Perfection is not as interesting as conflict in terms of lessons learned: do not be afraid of sharing, as long as you tell us how the experience positively molded you into who you are today.

Take-away #4: Do your research!
Find out more about the program or scholarship-- is there information about past winners, board members, program areas, teams, faculty specializations, or the number of active study abroad programs that connects in some way to your application or goals? How competitive is the application process? How hard is it to get in? Is there a strong emphasis on leadership? To figure this out, do some online detective work-- google, talk to related campus clubs, professors who referred you to the program or those who might know something about it. The more you know about the program, the more specific you can be in your essay. This makes a committee or reader's job so much easier, as it demonstrates your motivation and why you're a good fit for this program.

When writing a college application essay or scholarship statement, stay honest, but take time to tell your story well. Come into the Writing Center located in Battelle and we'll be happy to help!

That Tricky “So What?” Question

By Elaina Hundley

We’ve all read a paper dense with facts and ideas but wondered “So what?” when we reached the end. Who cares about ideas strung together if there is no given connection to a greater problem or question? This is why there are multiple arguments at work in every paper. There is the argument defending the claim you made in your thesis. But there is also the argument for why your thesis matters.

Writers must show the reader why they will benefit from reading the argument. This second argument and often forgotten “so what?” is subtle but essential. There are several things to consider; first, the writer must consider whom they are writing for and what that reader will care about. The writer must also consider why the thesis is worth arguing in the first place.  Does the thesis touch on a greater issue in a text or does it bring a new insight into a larger conversation? 

Every paper you write should have some sort of relevance. It should have both a reason you as the writer wrote it (besides the fact it was assigned to you) and a reason a reader should read it. When the reader is finished reading they should care about your issue. You, the writer, care about it so what makes it important to you?      As simple as the “so what” may seem it is fairly tricky especially since you might not be excited to write that paper for your Gen Ed. Instead of approaching a paper as an assignment that you just have to finish, think about it as a chance to convey something meaningful to you. When you care about what you write, your “so what” will be easy to find.

Example: If you needed to write a movie review, the “so what” of the review would be why the reader should or should not invest money in seeing “Silver Linings Playbook”. Readers care about your piece because it gives them a fuller and more honest idea of what the movie is about than promotional materials.  Your more detailed information helps the reader make a decision whether to see the film or to skip it and see it on DVD (or just not watch it at all).

Telling Your Story: Personal Narrative

By Sarah Sansolo

What is the hardest topic you’ve ever had to write about? We all have areas and ideas that we have a difficult time approaching on paper. The biggest challenge, however, is usually writing about yourself.

Personal narrative assignments (which pop up frequently in College Writing classes and on applications) are deceptively difficult to write. Sure, you’re the expert on your own life, but translating that into words can be tricky. How do you write about yourself in a way that’s interesting and unique?

1. Show, Don’t Tell. It’s a cliché for a reason. Use specific experiences to back up your claims. Details can really make a difference.

Telling: I’m a really good writer. One time I wrote an awesome personal narrative.
Showing: I wrote a personal narrative about the first time I went fly-fishing. My professor told me that it demonstrated my command of imagery, and the whole classroom stood up to applaud me.

2. Think Small. When you have limited room, you can’t tell your whole life story. Think about a particular moment that is an example of what you’re trying to say.

Big: I went on family vacations every summer and they made me close with my brother.
Small: During my family vacation at Disney World, my brother and I lost our parents in the line for Space Mountain and had to work together to find them.

Personal narratives might seem totally different than your other writing assignments, but keep in mind a few key things that are important for all writing: organization, support, and clarity.

Setting the Mood...To Write

By Ida Rosenthal

Feeling stuck with your paper? Sometimes your environment might be preventing you from being productive and tackling that assignment. Everyone has different preferences about what kind of workspace is best for them, but no worries, there’s more than one way to set the mood for writing. Here are some hints for making your writing space work for you:

1. Find a space. Whether it’s your desk, the library, or the local Starbucks, pick a spot that’s relatively secluded and cozy. You might be sitting in this spot for several hours, so make sure the lighting, temperature, and comfort of your chair is going to be suitable for awhile.

2. Turn down the music (or not). It’s a common myth that writers can only focus in absolute silence. This isn’t true at all! While some people work well on the silent floor of the library, many others excel when they’re listening to white noise like background music or soft chitchat nearby. The trick is to be honest with yourself. It’s more fun to listen to music, but if you start singing along instead of writing, it’s time to change course.

3. Dress for the occasion. Alright, sitting down to write a paper might not feel like a formal event, but wearing the appropriate clothing will put you in a better mood to write. For example, if you think your paper is rambling or incoherent, wearing pajamas as you write will only further enhance that feeling of sluggishness. What you wear will help you establish your mindset for the rest of the writing session.

4. Put away your phone. Smartphones are great for giving us information right now, but unfortunately, that can be very distracting. Consider using the “Do Not Disturb” feature on iPhones, or if you have another type of phone, just put it to the side. Try to check your phone no more than once every 30 minutes. You’ll discover that avoiding texts, updates, and emails can save a lot of time in the long-run.
5. Realize that it’s impossible to have the “perfect” mood. Don’t look for excuses. Look for opportunities and realize that sometimes things will be a little askew. The lighting will be slightly off, the temperature too warm, the person next to you is talking a little too loudly on their phone, etc. Decide whether these distractions are dealbreakers or whether you can manage. No matter what happens, you have the control to make your writing environment work for you.

Any other suggestions for setting the mood? What helps you get “in the zone” to write?

Research Papers: the When and How

By Meridian Ganz-Ratzat

Many spring semester classes culminate in a final research paper. While it's tempting to put off starting for another few months, beginning now can keep you stress free later. To help you (and myself!) budget your time and handle those papers with ease, I've broken down a timeline for brainstorming, research, outline, drafting, and editing:

2-3 Months Away (Now): Start brainstorming on your topic. If you have a prompt, read it through a couple times. Even if you don't, start writing down anything about the class (or related topics) that interest you. The best place to start is with something that you're passionate about. Once you've located an area you're interested in, start doing some casual research and thinking about what your research question will be.

1 Month Away: Now's the time to delve into your research. At this point you should have a topic and a solid idea of your research question. The library's catalog and databases are the best places to start researching. If you're having trouble finding a good research question, come to the Writing Center! Or if you're struggling to find good sources, try looking at the databases by subject or talking to one of the librarians at the research desk.

3 Weeks Away: After you've got a good handle on your research, start thinking about how to organize your essay. Remember that every essay is an argument. Develop your argument step-by-step by thinking about what information your reader needs to know first and building from there.

2 Weeks Away: Write the first draft of your essay. By making yourself sit down and write a draft, you can get your ideas out of your head. Don't worry if it doesn't sound perfect! You've given yourself somewhere to start. If you're having trouble with writer's block, check out our blog archive. A lot of our consultants have written blogs about how to get started on papers.

1 Week Away: This is the perfect time for big picture edits. Before you start worrying about grammar and other small errors, address the big picture issues: your thesis, organization, flow, and clarity. These larger issues can be hard to fix on your own. Ask a friend you trust to give you feedback or bring your draft into the Writing Center!

2 Days Away: Read through your essay for a last polish. Now you can relax, watch an episode of your favorite TV show, and let everyone else stress out.

Remember, this is just one way of writing a research paper. Everyone has their own process. If this structure isn't working for you, come into the Writing Center and we'll help you find what does work!